Incoherent Thoughts for 2017: A Reprise
After a rocky start to 2017 in terms of mental health, it ended up being quite an incredible and transformative year.
I began the year writing quite a dismal post about how I felt when the clock struck midnight on the 1st January. Combined with my own personal issues, a lot in the world was changing politically and continued to do so throughout the year. So, it's understandable that I felt a little down. I said:
I have a lot of anxiety about the future of the world, as well as a dismal outlook for my own future and I'm not quite sure why. Is anyone else feeling like this? Are your 20s supposed to be like this?
Since then I have learnt that yes, your 20s are supposed to feel like this and now, I'm ready for the ride.
Last January, I felt like the world was moving on without me and looking back, I was stuck in a sort of limbo for the first part. Friends were getting engaged, signing up for mortgages and even having babies. A lot of them had fancy jobs, a steady income and regularly went on trips, saw their families and the ones they loved.
And, then there was me. I was newly self-employed with little income and even less confidence, my parents and boyfriend all lived in different cities, I had no plans, I shared a rented house and just felt completely isolated.
It's silly because I wasn't isolated at all. I have a great support network around me who have been brilliant in making me feel, well like me again.
By February, I began to feel re-inspired by those around me and by putting my own needs first.
I started taking my health seriously and focusing on bettering myself rather than 'getting thinner' or losing weight.
I started doing things for myself, rather than putting my own passions to the bottom of my to-do list.
I started going to a couple of craft classes and more spending time on my own personal projects.
I started thinking differently. Thanks to CBT, I manage to design myself a whole new outlook on life.
I started enjoying myself. It sounds silly but I easily get so focused on work and what needs to be done, rather than what I want to do in the long run. I made the conscious effort to meet up with friends.
I started to surround myself with positive people. It sounds simple but I believe this made the biggest impact on my life.
And, it all worked to put me in a positive mindset for when times got tough.
On that note, there were, of course, some tougher parts of 2017. I spent some days doubting everything I've ever done, I spent some days choosing between electricity or food and I spent some days wanting to move back in with my mum and give everything up.
Despite all this, I think it's safe to say that I have a completely different attitude from last January as a look to the future.
What are your thoughts on the new year? Do you have any goals?